Pace Paw Print

Issue date: 10/31/07 Section: Sports

Media Credit: Jonathan Quartuccio

Jonathan Quartuccio - Ultimate Warrior, Macho King, you guys have arrived on scene with authority. Why have you decided to come back after so much time away from the public?

Macho King - I feel that wrestling today is a bunch of nobody's…yeah…with no ruler to watcher over them and protect the kingdom. And that exactly is what I have come to do.

Ultimate Warrior - Well I looked up to the heavens and saw all the faces of my screaming warriors and saw the moons were aligned. And I knew it was time to exit parts unknown and to dominate World Wrestling Entertainment.

JQ - Why come back together? Are you guys together?

MK - As whole lot of yes and a whole lot of no. I feel that Macho Madness needs a little kick in the pants, alright. And that job can only be done by someone with the intensity of the Ultimate Warrior can provide to accompany my patented atomic elbow drop.

JQ - As I understand it, you guys are now known together as Ultimate Madness. Is this similar to when you were with Hulk Hogan as the Mega Powers, Macho King?

MK - Not even close, Mean Jean.

JQ - I'm not Mean Jean.

MK - Sorry, you looked a little like him there for a second. Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted, the Warrior and I have taken the path that only kings and loyalty alike have taken. And the only person that understands this is the lovely Elizabeth.

JQ - We will get to Elizabeth in a second. Warrior any thoughts?

UW - The Warrior and the King can be something so powerful that it doesn't even exist. When the gods summoned me to come down to team up with the king, it was then that I knew it was time to leave parts unknown.

JQ - Now last time people remember you guys, Warrior you pinned the Macho King at Wrestle Mania 7 in a retirement match forcing Macho Man Randy Savage to leave the WWE. How did you guys reconcile?

MK - During my brief stint away from the squared circle, I realized what it truly meant to be a king, and that even a king can answer to higher powers. I stood atop the mountain and I looked down upon my kingdom. I realized that I needed someone by my side. Someone who not only was powerful, full of intensity and madness, but also someone I wouldn't mind sharing the throne with…yeah.

JQ - You guys are rumored to have taken various drugs including but not limited to steroids and cocaine. What do you say to these allegations?

MK - I'll tell you what Mean Tooch. I am not going to lie the King's subjects; I have dabbled in anabolic steroids. However, I don't take them now, and I stopped taking them a while ago. And as far as cocaine is concerned, I've skied down the fresh powder of many mountains, but I've never touched that powder.

JQ - Warrior, would you care to stop snarling and grunting and answer the question?

UW - Well…Tooch. All I want to do right now is grab the reins of this newspaper and send it into a tailspin and watch as you and everybody else burns into flames.

JQ - OK, but you are not answering the question.

UW - Shut up before you are the first to be sacrificed in the flames of the Ultimate Madness and only then will you know what it feels like to be in parts unknown.

JQ - Give me five wrestlers that you have respected or respect now from the WWE.

UW - When the word respect comes to min, it is only gained through the blood shed of a warrior in battle on route to victory. So when you, Tooch, look up to the heavens for respect that you will see coming from parts unknown, you will see myself, the king, and all my little warriors. That dude is respect.

JQ - This is ridiculous. Why do I even ask you anything?

MK - I do not respect anybody that doesn't respect me. And apparently in this business, there are a lot of people that have bad things to say. I just drew a line in the sand…you finish it.

JQ - But you did not name any wrestlers.

UW - Then I guess you have your answer Tooch.

JQ - You guys already accomplished so much in your careers. What have you come back for?

UW - I've come here for one reason. To attack and to keep coming. Not to ask but just to give. Not to want but just to sin. Send the power of the Warrior down every throat in the Universe until they become sick of it. Well you are going to be sick of it because this freak of nature is just beginning to swell, and when I get big enough for you brother, there ain't going to be room for anybody else but me and the warriors floating through the veins and the power of the waaarrrriooorrr (snarl).

JQ - Alrighty. Randy Savage. What have you come back for? Does it have anything to do with the lovely Miss Elizabeth, who you were romantically involved with?

MK - Yes. I have come to avenge Miss Elizabeth and my pal Curt Henning's death, who were taken way too young…yeah. I have also come to reign supreme over the Macho Kingdom…yeah. And to get a better glimpse of what I am talking about, get your hands on My Macho Man and listen to Be a Man.

JQ - Is this a plug?

MK - Well, well a plug is something you put in the wall. There is nothing wrong with having a little Macho wellness.

JQ - OK, I believe we have time for one more thing, if you have any last words.

MK - Hulk Hogan may have the biggest arms in the world…yeah. But do these arms look like chop liver to you?

UW - (Snarl) When I descended and saw all the faces on each and every person trying to get a glimpse of what the Warrior wants….

JQ - OK, that is all the time we have. Gentlemen this has been kind of weird and not very informative. You clearly wasted everyone's time. Nice job.

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